Our adoption journey has taken an interesting twist, and I’m going to tell this story without disclosing identifying details about the parties involved. So bear with me here…
Two days ago I was contacted via Facebook by a friend who lives out of state. (If you want to widen your birth mother pool, make it public that you are looking to adopt. You never know who will remember seeing that when they hear of something and come back to you.)
This friend had been contacted by a couple she knows in a third state, who know a young pregnant woman in another country who is looking to place her baby for adoption.
The mutual friend remembered seeing my post that my husband and I were starting the process of adopting baby #2, so she reached out to me to see if we might be interested in pursuing contact with her friends who know the pregnant girl.
You still with me here?
Strangely enough – due mainly to an unusually busy last couple of weeks – Jeff and I hadn’t yet gotten around to actually signing and sending in the contract with our agency to get the ball rolling on what we’d expected to be a standard domestic adoption.
Was this why? Is this the path we were meant to take?
Excitement, apprehension, racing thoughts, and about 8 million questions immediately started flooding my brain.
What’s the girl’s story? What do we know about the birth father? How would this work? Does our agency do international? Would it need to be international? What’s the racial make-up? What would this baby look like? What do we know about medical history? Can we find out? How committed is the girl to following through? Could we get her to the States? What would that look like? Where would she have the baby? Etc., etc.
I was contacted by the couple who know the girl, and I let them know that we were open to considering this scenario, but we didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up. We would need some help and guidance, and the first step was to contact our agency.
We did find out that the young woman has dual citizenship in her home country and the U.S., and it would be possible for her to come here for the birth. That might be the only way we could make this work without a lot of international red tape and dragging out the process.
I spoke with our agency. As I fully expected, they could absolutely help us out in this scenario if we want to move forward. They agreed that the best thing would be for this young woman to come to the States to have the baby.
Jeff and I spent nearly an hour on the phone last night with the couple who knows the girl. We talked about how this might play out and got many questions answered, though many new ones arose at the same time.
This couple feels the girl is very committed to placing her baby for adoption. She has admitted that she knows she can’t take care of a baby by herself, especially in her home country.
But bringing her to the States brings on a whole other set of issues.
I wish I could say we have a clear answer on how to proceed, but we don’t. Not yet anyway.
I guess we’ll all just have to stay tuned…