I don’t know where to begin recounting events of the last few days.

We are currently almost 2,000 miles from home after getting a call 3 days ago with another birth mother match. Only this time, the birth mother was already in labor.

We had a lot of things we had to weigh before making a decision on whether or not to accept the match. And the clock was ticking as a baby made its way into the world more than halfway across the country.

That was only the beginning.

The short story is… Continue reading →

Adoption efforts with our current birth mother have ended.

We found out yesterday that she reached out to the previous family and agency she’d been working with before us (I mentioned that situation in this post). She fed all the same lies to them about us that she said to us about them.

She also supposedly has a new due date of 11/17, though she can’t (won’t) provide evidence of this.

So Jeff and I are done. We walked away yesterday.

This is where I feel like I can be real. Continue reading →

I went to the dentist today for a routine cleaning, and they almost wouldn’t treat me.

In the event anyone has been doubting the level of stress I’m feeling, I now have numbers to prove it.

Before my cleaning, the hygienist strapped a device onto my wrist to take my blood pressure. I don’t remember ever having my blood pressure taken at the dentist before, but I’m glad they did it today.

The first reading was 145/102.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a reading that high. The hygienist was slightly taken aback. “Let’s try that again, on the other arm this time.” She walked away while it did its thing. Continue reading →

I am currently a walking open nerve on the verge of either vomiting or bursting into tears at every given moment.

I don’t even know how to begin recapping what’s been happening since my last post. We got the call with a match two weeks ago today, yet it feels like a lifetime ago.

For starters, I need to stop prophesying my own story.

I wrote, “…here’s the latest as of this moment. Just know it could have further developed by the time you are reading this.”

Literally 3 minutes after I uploaded that post, I got a call from our caseworker.

“Birth mom showed up on one of the scam boards.” Continue reading →