Waiting, waiting, waiting

Baby’s due date has come and gone, and still no sign of him.

This is one of the hardest times during the whole adoption process.

Since the birth mother of this baby is not having a scheduled C-section or being induced (unless either become necessary), we are playing the waiting game.

Waiting for a call or text, day or night, work or no work, school or no school, running errands or at home, etc.

My phone is on 24/7, ringer on audibly, waiting for word that birth mom has gone into labor. Every time I get a text notification, I check. If I hear it in the middle of the night, I check. If I’m out to lunch with you, I’ll check.

We went through the same thing when we adopted our older son. Though we had to travel out of state that time, which meant booking flights, a rental car, and all that.

We got word in the middle of the night with him, only I didn’t hear my phone. By the grace of God, I woke up in the middle of night and thought I better check it. A text had come in a couple hours earlier, so we got up and jumped into action.

It was somewhat amusing, actually. The role of who was anxious completely flipped between my husband and I once we got word it was time. Up to knowing birth mom was in labor, I’d been the anxious one (as I am now):

  • Will Jeff be at work and have to drive home during rush hour?
  • I may have to pick up kiddo from school.
  • We’ll have to drop off dog with our boarder. What if she’s not home or it’s the middle of the night?
  • Will the car have a full tank of gas?
  • How long will it take to pack up the car? Are our bags as ready to go as they can be?
  • What all will we need?
  • Do we need anyone to get the mail?
  • Are all our bills paid?
  • Should I clean the toilets so we don’t have to come home to a science experiment?
  • How long will we be gone? How long should we book a hotel for?
  • What are we going to do with the kiddo while we’re there?

But as soon as we got the call the first time that labor had started, I suddenly chilled out and felt like I knew what needed to be done. Jeff, on the other hand, suddenly lost his sense of internal calm. Leading up to things, he was okay with having unanswered questions. But he was suddenly faced with specific questions that he didn’t know how to answer (how long should we book a rental car; how long to book an Airbnb, etc.).

Why I was more anxious with unanswered conceptual questions, where the concrete unanswerable questions didn’t seem to bother me, I have no idea. Either way, Jeff and I were well paired in dealing with the whole process.

And even after we do get word, there will still be the whole waiting and wondering game about whether or not birth mom will sign her consent. Will she give up the waiting period? Will she change her mind?

So we will likely go to the hospital, meet the baby, and still not know for at least a day or two if he will actually be ours.

We also haven’t met the birth father yet in person. So that won’t be awkward AT ALL – meeting him for the first time when we’re hoping to take his baby home with us.

But this is all par for the course.

We are so close.

So close to bringing home our newest family member… or so close to being thrown back to square one.

And we don’t know which it will be.

3 thoughts on “Waiting, waiting, waiting

  1. We can so identify. While we awaited the birth of the 1st baby we adopted my husband had a pager, yes, it was A LONG time ago, we had a special code. Every time his pager went off all of our employees held their breath and waited. Same with our 2nd. The rest were foster adopt. We wish you the very best! Jeff and Teri

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  2. Pingback: A mother’s grieving heart | Our Family Ever After

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